Author: Trudi Griffin / Source: wikiHow
You and your partner may be blissfully happy before doubt enters the picture. Then, you start to worry if you’re really a good match for one another. Is your partner interested in someone else? If you don’t resolve relationship doubts, they can ruin everything.
Tackle your doubts by first going to the source— your partner— and seeking out the reassurance you long for.- 1 Communicate your fears. Bottling up your feelings may actually allow the doubt to fester. Let it go by talking about it with your partner. Be candid with them and come out and say what’s bugging you.[1]
- You might say, “We never have conversations about the future and it makes me doubt your feelings for me.”
- 2 Ask your partner for reassurance. After sharing your fears, ask your partner for support and reassurance. You might want them to remind you how much they love you, or you might want a show of affection, like a hug and a kiss.[2]
- You might ask something like, “I need to hear that I’m your top priority. Can you tell me please?”
- Be cautious of too much reassurance-seeking as it can make you appear clingy to your partner.
- 3 Work together to devise solutions. Determine what about your partner’s behavior causes you to feel doubt. Then, put your heads together and figure out ways to work through it.[3]
- For instance, if you feel doubt because your partner keeps putting off important conversations about the future, have a candid talk about that and find a middle ground.
- If doubt rears its head after a nasty fight, try going to couples therapy and learning better conflict resolution skills.
- Talk to each other about how you like to share and receive love. For example, some people like to do things for the person they love to show how they feel, while others like to shower their partner with compliments and declarations of love. Since it’s normal for people to have a different “love language,” it’s important to know how both of you show love so that there aren’t misunderstandings.
- 4 Prioritize quality time. Doubt can creep in when couples go through inevitable droughts of quality time and affection. Making more time for bonding and intimacy can help those doubts fade away.[4]
- Compare your schedules and pinpoint a few days or nights per week that you can spend time together one-on-one.
- Make the most of quality time by silencing your phones and letting others know it’s couple time.
- 5 Give feedback about your partner’s efforts. As your partner tries to modify their behavior and make you feel more secure in the relationship, show appreciation for their progress. Speak up when you see them trying— say, “I noticed you made an effort to call me back as soon as you could. Thanks, babe.”[5]
- Express gratitude when your partner does something that makes you feel reassured without you asking. For example, “I appreciated that you texted me when you were going to be late. It reassured me that you’d still make it and that I…
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