Author: Matt Gilligan / Source: did you know?
Waiters see it all. And they hear it all, too. All kinds of weird and wacky conversations from their many, many tables.
Here are some of the weirdest that AskReddit users shared.
1. Don’t follow my lead
“I saw a mother take her knife and with the flat part of it, whack the hand of her 2 year-old child because she was drawing something with her left hand.
She yelled at her “No, use your right hand. Good girls don’t write with their left hand.”This was as I was standing there taking their order and writing with my left hand.”
2. Much worse
“My favorite was a group of nurses. Pouring waters as one says the sentence “So a guy came in for an adult circumcision yesterday…”
Never ask a nurse about their day. It was worse than yours.”
3. Don’t say a word
“I approached a table with a family of five to take their order. Two adults and three kids from about 5 to 10 or so. One of the kid starts to say something and the father cuts him off by saying “Don’t say another word Peter. Nobody says a thing until Princess Mommy makes up her mind and decides what she wants for dinner.” Followed by long awkward silence and me leaving.”
4. The clown
“Party of five or six, it’s a group of friends having dinner. In walks a clown. Clown starts randomly walking around the restaurant doing balloon animals for kids and stuff like that. I have no idea what is going on, we didn’t hire this guy.
He walks over to the table of 5 or 6 and selects a man from the table to perform a magic trick for. He did the trick, a small flash of smoke and fire happens and then magically there is an engagement ring on a rope. The man takes the ring and the woman gets on her knees and asks the man to marry her. The man says no, tells her to get up and they continue dinner. This table now has the attention of the entire restaurant (like 300-400 people on our busiest night). Everybody just turned away and started awkwardly eating like nothing happened.”
5. Buddy…
“Ex waiter. I’m walking down a long hallway carrying a tray of food. A kid comes running from a perpendicular hallway and run face first into the wall without putting his hands up. He starts crying. The dad walks behind him very calmly and kneels down and says, “Buddy, you just can’t go running into walls.”
6. Doesn’t work that way
“I heard if you complain here you get your meal for free”
I sidled by and politely told her that wasn’t the case.”
7. We know
“My Mom and I went to a restaurant in a town we were visiting, and we were seated close by a family just sitting down to dinner. As soon as they sat down, the waitress asked if they wanted a drink. Dad and Mom ordered wine and son looks at waitress and then blurts out to his parents “I’m gay.”
Waitress leaves. Parents look at their son and then look at each other. Mom then asks Dad what he is thinking of having to eat. Son again exclaims “I’m gay.” Parents look at him deadpan and say in unison, “we know”. Then waitress came and took our orders and I didn’t hear what happened next. But they stayed and enjoyed their meal and seemed to be fine with each other.”
8. WHOA
I was delivering food to a large table…
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