Author: Sami Rusani / Source: Lifehack
I was fortunate enough to have a number of great mentors who helped guide me and set me on the path to success when I was starting out in my career.
One of them, in particular, stands out because our relationship highlights a number of important points about finding the right mentor.
We met after I spoke at a Rotary event and he decided to reach out to me. He was from Europe and his wife happened to be Swedish, as am I, so we were able to connect fairly quickly. Shortly after meeting him, I asked, “What can I do to help you?”Now, this guy was incredibly successful. He had built two huge companies that he sold for millions. What he didn’t know how to do, however, was build a website. I did. So, I built him a website for free and told him he could just owe me one. It turned out his next door neighbor was a VP at Sony’s record label, and to “pay me back,” my mentor invited me to have a drink with his neighbor.
Next thing I knew, I was working on a project for Sony.
I’m not saying that you should automatically expect your mentor will connect you with someone important or give your career a major boost. But if you never put yourself out there and look for someone to have a mentor relationship with, you’re ensuring you’ll never have that opportunity.
Here’s how I’d recommend going about finding a mentor who will actually make an impact on your life:
1. Look for Someone Who Challenges You to Challenge Yourself
A great mentor doesn’t give you homework. They don’t sit you down, tell you exactly what you need to know and then send you off with some specific problems to solve.
That’s more of a coach.A mentor is someone who pushes you and opens up your perspectives. They help you perceive problems in new ways, so you can solve them on your own.
Let’s say you have a difficult decision to make. A good mentor doesn’t necessarily say, “Do x, y, and z.” They tell you about a time they experienced something similar and what they learned from the situation. They talk about the different ways you could approach this decision.
The way I look at it, if I tell someone something, I could be wrong. So if I’m mentoring someone, my job is to help them realize what they want to do, or how they can go about doing it.
The best mentors make you think by offering a point of view you didn’t already have.
2. Find a Mentor with Experience in Whatever You’re Trying to Achieve
Ideally, a mentor should have experience in the field you’re interested in—sales, marketing, corporate management, law, medicine, whatever. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time for both parties.
For instance, I have a couple friends who are plumbers. They’re great guys who are good at what they do, but I wouldn’t ask them for advice on building a software company.
That’s why before you even start looking for a mentor, you have to know what you want to achieve. You need clear goals that someone can actually help you with. Otherwise, you’ll connect with someone, they’ll ask how they can help you, and all you’ll have to say is, “Hm, I don’t know.”
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