Raise your hand if you have a young adult in your life who isn’t ready for the “real” world.
It’s incredibly common for 20-somethings (and even 30-somethings) to be a little more than clueless when it comes to living on their own. Being able to sustain your independence with both your money and lifestyle is a skill that everyone needs to learn, and every parent needs to start teaching while their kids are still young.
The good news is, this is very doable. If you’re currently trying to mold impressionable youngsters into self-sufficient adults, here’s how you can protect them from a very rude awakening when they go it alone.
1. Teach them basic life skills
I’m fortunate to have grown up in a family of blue-collar Americans who relied on their own wits and two bare hands to get by, and they were eager to pass their skills down to their children and grandchildren. Some of those skills took (I make a mean Bundt cake and clean the house with maid-like results), while others are still a work in progress (I call AAA when I have a flat tire; might as well get my money’s worth, right?).
These basic life skills should be required teaching at home because your kids won’t learn them any place else. I’m a huge advocate for integrating this sort of education into the public school curriculum — because honestly, what teenager needs to know calculus over income tax prep? — but as it stands, that responsibility falls to you. (See also: 7 Life Skills Your Kids Won’t Learn in School)
As such, it’s on you to school your offspring on all of life’s dirty little jobs, including but not limited to:
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Laundry and other household chores.
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Grocery shopping, meal prep, and cooking for themselves.
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Integrating coupons and discounts into their everyday purchases.
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How credit and debit cards work.
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How interest rates affect loans.
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The difference between paying in cash versus relying on credit.
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How to prepare a resume.
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How to interview for a job (and not look like a slob).
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How to comprehend basic contracts.
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How to drive or use public transportation.
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How to make and stick to a budget.
2. Manage their money for their first year of employment
Adults spend their money on frivolous things a lot of the time — so what do you expect kids to do? As soon as they get a job and start bringing home the bacon, they’re rushing straight to their favorite stores for new clothes, taking their boyfriend or girlfriend out on a nice date, and loading up on drive-thru junk food.
We all did it.
You can curb that behavior by sitting your kid down and letting them know that the Bank of Mom and/or Dad will be in charge of their income for the first year of their first job. Offering them this kind of hands-on guidance and advice is a good way to teach teens how to save and spend wisely.
Open two accounts in their name — checking and savings — and put 40 percent of their paycheck into each of those accounts. Give them the leftover 20 percent to do whatever they’d like. When expenses arise for which you don’t feel responsible, like if they receive a speeding ticket or want to go away for the weekend with friends, explain how the money will come from their checking account to pay for it. You may get some resistance at first, especially if they’re used to you forking cash over, but they’ll thank their lucky stars they know how to manage money when they strike out on their own.
3. Charge them rent to live in your home once they turn 18
Your kids are adults the day they turn 18 — a fact that your teenager has probably reminded you of a million times since they started high school — and it’s high time you started treating them accordingly. If they want to be grown-ups with no rules and no curfew but still live under your roof, you have every right to ask for help with the bills.
You don’t have to charge them fair market value, but a…
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