Graduation season brings with it a slew of commencement speeches, all of which tend to repeat the same old cliches about bright futures, following one’s dreams, and how graduation marks a beginning rather than an end. While great commencement speakers find ways to package these old chestnuts in humorous speeches and elegant words, most of these addresses do not offer graduates any actionable advice.
However, some graduation speakers do have excellent words of wisdom to offer new grads. In particular, the following five famous people offered some important money and career tips that graduates (and anyone else watching their speeches) can take to heart.
Lesson #1: Get paid!
Maria Bamford, University of Minnesota 2017
This spring, comedian
gave one of the most unusual — and helpful — commencement addresses of all time at her alma mater, the University of Minnesota. Bamford used her speech as an opportunity to detail the negotiation process she went through to receive a $10,000 paycheck from the school in exchange for her speech.The University had originally offered her nothing for the gig, which made her wonder if the school was lowballing her. “Was the University of Minnesota suggesting that I couldn’t get paid for the exact job that I paid them to teach me how to do?” she asked the laughing crowd.
Bamford went on to say that she requested $20,000 before being offered the $10,000 she ultimately accepted. Her business adviser (an aluminum salesman and the father of a friend) wanted her to ask to split the difference at $15,000, but since Bamford is “still from Duluth, and still ashamed,” she accepted the $10,000 — which only netted her $5,000 after taxes and commissions were removed.
This lesson about the importance of getting paid what you are worth became even more concrete for one member of the graduating class. Bamford ended her address by asking graduates who owed money to Sallie Mae to raise their hands, and then asking if there were specifically any theater majors who owed money to Sallie Mae. One theater major in the front row was invited on stage, where Bamford handed over the $5,000 speaking fee check, already made out to Sallie Mae. She told the graduate that it would have been a larger amount, if Bamford had been a better negotiator.
Doubtless, every graduate in the audience came away from that speech with a much better sense of the importance of asking for what they are worth.
Lesson #2: If you worship money, then you will never have enough
David Foster Wallace, Kenyon College 2005
The writer David Foster Wallace gave this speech over a decade ago, and it has shown up on lists of best commencement addresses ever since. The overall message of the speech, which is entitled This Is Water, is about being aware of the world around you and the ways in which your thoughts shape your reality. However, in one portion of his address, Wallace talks about how we all worship something, and he cautions against worshipping the wrong thing, including money:
“And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship … is that…
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