“Paradise is a recipe for love and for disaster at the same time.”
Monday night’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise definitely was more disaster than love. A lot more. Seriously, every couple, person and crab in Mexico seemed miserable.
While we usually tune into the ABC reality hit for an escape, it was basically like Debbie Downer herself walked down the steps…and the cast was blaming Scallop Fingers.
Confused? Don’t worry, we’ll get to that in a moment.So, let’s through a pity party and run down the list of no-good, very-bad things that went down in Paradise in tonight’s episode, shall we?
1. The episode started off on a crabby note, literally, when Alexis took a silly game too far by putting a dead crab in a blindfolded Jack Stone’s mouth, costing her his rose. Hard to believe this is the first time crabs resulted in a breakup in Paradise, right?
2. Jasmine thought she and Matt were one of BIP‘s solid couples…until Christen (virgin from Nick Viall‘s season) walked down the stairs and Matt plotted his escape, basically begging Christen to ask him out, which she did. Big mistake. Huge.
3. After hearing Christen asked Matt out, Jasmine in on a mission to bully her into submission. (“You want good TV, ABC? I’m about to give you good TV. Here we go!”)
4. Christen and Matt still go on their boring date (shopping and a chocolate covered banana, you know, true once-in-a-lifetime experiences you can only experience in Mexico) and have a good enough time. Meanwhile, back in Paradise, the group is talking some serious s–t about Christen, with Alexis telling an already-infamous story about Christen touching her with her
5. So how does this love triangle end? With Matt deciding to just up and leave Paradise before the rose ceremony. “He’s no longer with us,” Taylor said with zero percent sarcasm. Yep, he dropped both women like…
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