Author: Amy Kaufman / Source: latimes.com
In a case of something like poetic justice, “The Bachelor” came to its explosive and controversial close this season just as Times reporter Amy Kaufman was embarking on a book tour for her recently published “Bachelor Nation: Inside the World of America’s Favorite Guilty Pleasure” (Dutton). Still she managed to talk to three former Bachelors about their, and her, take on the events.
Sure, the star of this season’s “The Bachelor” got engaged to a woman he describes as the love of his life. But he has also suffered the wrath of millions of viewers outraged by his decision, on Monday, to dump his brand new fiancee, Becca Kufrin, because he was still in love with “runner-up” Lauren Burnham. Who he had also just dumped.
Alas, Luyendyk seemed far more callous than Mesnick. He decided to break up with Kufrin during one of their “Happy Couple” weekends — secret rendezvous the program’s producers organize at private homes during the period between the proposal and the show’s finale a few months later.
When Kufrin flew from her home in Minnesota to Los Angeles for one such get together in January, she thought she and Luyendyk were going to spend a lovey-dovey couple of days together.
Instead, without shedding a tear, her then-fiance told her he no longer wanted to be with her because he still had feelings for Burnham.
Sadistically, or so it seemed to many, he then lingered for an awkward amount of time as Kufrin cried and tried to avoid him in different rooms of the house. And then, when he met up with Burnham again just a few weeks later, he told her he was “1000%” over Kufrin.
Still, the question remains: How could Luyendyk have been so heartless? (Kanye wants to know.) Why did he openly tell two women that he loved them? Was he forced into proposing by producers? And why did he allow cameras to film every moment — raw and! unedited — of his break-up with Kufrin?
To get some perspective on the situation, I reached out to three former bachelors — Ben Flajnik, (2012), Sean Lowe (2013) and Nick Viall (2017). For context, Lowe is the only one of the trio who is still with his final pick — he and Catherine Giudici got married on ABC in 2014 and are expecting their second child this year. Flajnik spent about seven months with his fiancée, Courtney Robertson, following the “After the Final Rose” special; Viall and Vanessa Grimaldi lasted about one month less than that.
Was Arie’s first mistake that he said “I love you” to two women? What happened to the unspoken rule that you weren’t supposed to utter those three words to anyone before the proposal episode?
Sean Lowe: I only felt like I loved Catherine, of course. But I wasn’t going to say it all until we got engaged, because I don’t want to risk hurting someone. There’s absolutely no way I would tell it to multiple women because that obviously means you’re going to have to break up with one of them and that’s gonna be devastating. If you truly love someone, you’re not gonna turn around in a couple of days and break their heart. …I just felt like it would be more special if I said it for the very first time while getting down on one knee. It’s really a silly concept. It seems ridiculous when we stop and think about it today, but that’s kind of the world you’re living in at the time.
Ben Flajnik: I definitely wasn’t about to tell two women that I loved them both. I don’t think it was really allowed, to be honest with you. And it’s just kind of a classless move to tell two women you love them at the same time. What’s the point? You’re digging your own grave. You’re just gonna get yourself in more trouble.
Nick Viall: I was really cautious, because the whole time I was fully aware that when I would get to the end, I would relate more to the runner-up than the winner, because I knew what it was like to get dumped. [Viall was the runner-up on two seasons of…
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