“Soooo, tell me about your strengths and weaknesses…”
Do you experience that ominous “deer in headlights” feeling when you hear this question? What does it even mean? What are the things you identify as strengths? Why do you label them as such? Is it because it is an ability or skill at which you excel?
Is it something you do better than most people? Who or what measures what a strength or weakness is? This question–especially in an interview–can be tricky terrain to navigate.As one who has sat on both sides of this question–I will try to provide some insight and direction on how you should approach this extremely slippery slope.
Even If You’re Good at Something, It’s Your Weakness If It Drains You.
Discovering your true strengths and weaknesses isn’t just critical for nailing a job interview. It is a fundamental key to your success in all aspects of life.
Marcus Buckingham, author of Go Put Your Strengths To Work, provides the most pure and concise explanation for determining what is a strength and what is a weakness. And it has nothing to do with what you are good at or how you fair against others.
“A better definition of a strength,” said Buckingham, “is an activity that makes you feel strong. And a weakness is an activity that makes you feel weak. Even if you’re good at it, if it drains you, that’s a weakness.”
Consider that statement for a moment. Are you starting to gain a bit more context and insight into what your true strong suits and deficiencies are?
I Was Proud of My Ability to Deal With People But I Later Found That It’s Not My True Strength…
Here’s an example from personal experience.
I am extremely “good with people.” I am compassionate, considerate, attentive, encouraging and accommodating. I am good at getting the best out of people, calming intense situations and making people feel heard, validated and appreciated. I work at it. I study people. I am a student of psychology and human interaction and can usually determine a person’s primary temperament1 within moments of meeting them and can adjust to play to their temperament strength.
In interviews2, I have always listed my interpersonal skills as one of my strengths. But if I take a step back and really assess this “gift” I find that it really isn’t one of my true strengths. The truth is people drain me and human interaction, often times, is akin to navigating a mine field. I prefer being alone or with my husband to being around others. My interactions with people don’t flow naturally. I am not instinctively a “people person.” I have to calculate my moves and measure my responses before I speak. I am innately shy, incredibly introverted and socially awkward. My people skills are manufactured and have been honed out of necessity. It is…
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