Author: Scott Jeffrey / Source: Lifehack
Feeling down?
You’re not alone.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, over 16 million adults over age 18 had a major depressive episode in the United States in 2016 alone.[1]
And that doesn’t include the more common forms of depression and frustration that consume most of us on an all-too-regular basis.
In this article, we’re going to look into the reasons why you may feel depressed and frustrated and how to get motivated when depressed.
First, are you really depressed?
The signs and symptoms of depression on legion.
Depression can create feelings of apathy, discontent, hopeless, sadness and guilt.
Depressive episodes can affect your sleep cycles, leading to restlessness, insomnia or excessive sleepiness.
Behaviorally, in a depressive state, individuals experience more frustration and agitation.
Depression can influence your appetite (in either direction), your cognitive functioning (lack of focus), and your level of energy (fatigue).
Okay, so let’s say you’re saying, “Check, check, and check.”
What’s next? Let’s explore some of the potential reasons why we get depressed.
7 common reasons for depression and frustration
Scan this list with an open mind and see which ones resonate with you. Often there are multiple factors that trigger our emotional states.
- Repressed rage: When we are de-pressed, we are pushing down other emotions and feelings. The most common emotion that we push out of our awareness is anger and rage.
- Unacknowledged envy: For many of us, envy silently eats away at our motivation each day. When we’re not conscious of our envy, it can quickly lead to depression.
- Unmet basic needs: Abraham Maslow found that we all have basic human needs for safety, belonging, and self-esteem. When we don’t meet these needs sufficiently, we become neurotic. Depression and anxiety are common forms of neurosis.[2]
- Life circumstances: If you’re going through a divorce or the loss of a loved one, depression and sadness is a common experience.
- Something doesn’t go your way: You want something to happen—a promotion, a date, etc.—but it doesn’t happen. These circumstances often trigger frustration and can lead to depression.
- Repressed desires: When we don’t get what we want, we get frustrated. When we don’t even acknowledge what we want, we get depressed. Sometimes these desires are reasonable; other times, they are tyrannical.
- Living out of alignment: Perhaps you’ve made choices that defy who you are. Or, you’re behaving in ways that go against your personal core values. Making poor decisions and living out of accord with our values, is a sure path to depression and discontent.
What’s next? How do you get motivated when you’re depressed?
The standard approach: What not to do
When most people feel depressed, they try to “push through it.”
In a culture that has a bias toward happiness, we believe depression is a bad thing. If we have depression, we need to change it right away.
And how do we go about changing it? By using brute force—pushing ourselves to do that which we don’t want to do.
But here’s the most valuable lesson anyone can learn about their subconscious mind:
What we resist, persists.
What does this mean?
Resisting depression or frustration will not only prolong its existence; it may even make it stronger. So, when we try to motivate ourselves through sheer will, we are feeding the very monster we’re trying to overcome.
The alternative approach: Self-awareness
Instead of trying to push through depression, learn from it. It’s there for a reason; a part of you is trying to tell you something.
Do you know what it’s trying to tell you?
Many times, just getting clarity on the source of the depression can reduce it if not release it entirely.
This approach is powerful, but there are two good reasons we don’t take it:
- It can be uncomfortable to face the truth behind our depression and frustration. And we often do what we can to avoid discomfort.
- The source of our depression and frustration isn’t always obvious. Without sufficient self-awareness skills, we may not be fully conscious of the cause of depression.
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