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How to Liquidate a Loved One’s Estate

Author: Carrie Kirby / Source: Wise Bread

When someone you love dies, at first, you may only be able to think about the emotional things: How you will miss them, how different your life will be without them, and maybe, if they were suffering, a sense of gratitude that their pain has ended.

Unfortunately, most of us also have to deal with logistics when someone in our family departs this world.

If you are named executor of the estate, the heirs have the right to expect you to turn over their inheritance in a timely manner. Part of settling an estate is dealing with the personal possessions of the deceased. Often this must be done before the house or condo can be sold, or the lease terminated, and the estate closed out. The more possessions the departed owned, the more difficult this task can be. Some triaging is in order.

Before death

If your loved one is elderly, it’s a good idea to encourage and help them to dispose of clutter and organize their possessions as an ongoing project. Focus on how discarding piles of old newspapers could make their home safer, or on how those clothes from the 1940s might be appreciated by the high school theater department. A wonderful project to do with an elderly loved one is to organize old photos, because there may be people in them that you can’t identify without their help. (See also: Why Holding Onto Too Much Stuff Is a Burden for Your Loved Ones)

While doing these projects, if it feels right, you can gently inquire about any items they might be saving for particular family members, which is especially helpful to know if the person hasn’t created a detailed will. The process may be frustrating and time consuming — after all, they may have had this stuff since before you were born, and it can be understandably hard to part with such things.

But the more you can do with the cooperation of the property’s owner, the easier things will be after they’re gone. You run less risk of accidentally disposing of important papers or family treasures.

Sometimes the decluttering process is prompted by a move. When my elderly cousin had to move into assisted living, my family and I gradually cleared out the house she had been living in for decades. While she wasn’t able to help us on site, we were able to set aside possessions we thought she might want to keep, bring them to her new home, and have her make decisions. Many of the old photos and letters we found were great conversation starters during our visits, especially when her memory began to fail.

Immediately after death

If your loved one was living in their home up until the day they died, you may need to check on the home immediately after leaving the hospital, to make sure it’s secure and safe. Of course, if your loved one had pets, they must be attended to and rehomed without delay.

Within the first week, you’ll want to clear out the kitchen to prevent problems with pests, mold, and odor. Clean out the refrigerator and get the trash out of the house. Discard or give away any nonperishable pantry items.

If you have not already done so, you may also need to immediately look for items to be used in the funeral. If your loved one is not being cremated, you may need to retrieve a nice outfit for the body to be dressed in. It’s common to display photos, awards, and other mementos at funeral services, as well. If you’re writing the obituary, you may find useful information in the home, such as school yearbooks or scrapbooks. Any record of military service is important to gather, so that your loved one can receive the posthumous honors they are due.

After the funeral

A few years ago, my family lost an uncle who was the last of his generation. After the funeral lunch, we gathered in his home and experienced the strange feeling of being allowed to roam through his rooms uninvited. I suspect even my eldest aunts felt a bit like naughty children. We were all sad, but it was also a little bit … fun.

On your first visit to start sorting through the home of the deceased, take a deep breath and look around so you can remember how the home looked when they lived there. Remember that while the task you are undertaking will be difficult and sad, it may also be exciting, because you could uncover letters and other relics from the past that may help you come to know your loved one better than you ever did when they were alive.

Here are a few steps to make the task of clearing out their belongings less stressful.